Infographic: WHAT TOOK 51 YEARS?

WHY NAME THE BABY?

CAN A NAME HEAL?

WHAT STAYED BURIED?

WHAT FINALLY SURFACED?

Description:

What if abortion grief does not surface until years later?

Matt Freeman of Rachel’s Vineyard joins Scott and Marcie to talk about abortion healing and the buried, unresolved emotions that can remain long after abortion.

Most people do not come to a retreat for four or five years. Some wait decades. The longest gap Matt has seen?

51 years.

What can stay hidden for that long? And what finally forces it into the open?

The conversation turns to raw grief, anger, self-medication, and long-carried pain that people may live with for years without ever connecting the dots.

Then there are the men.

The father who felt powerless. The partner who went along with it. The one who pressured her toward it.

What are they carrying when they finally walk into a retreat?

Matt also explains why some people may come too soon, how men grieving alongside women can change the room, and why the physical aftermath of the abortion pill can become part of the trauma itself.

And then comes one of the most intimate and profound parts of the weekend.

Each person is invited to give their child a name. For many, it is also the first time they have ever told their abortion story out loud.

Why name the baby? And what happens when years of silence finally break?

Watch the full conversation on Dear Jane.

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2:52 — Who Comes to Rachel's Vineyard?

3:49 — 51 Years Later

4:14 — When the Pain Finally Connects

5:58 — The Trauma Beneath the Abortion

7:46 — What About the Men?

10:56 — When Couples Don't Stay Together

12:08 — Did This Happen to Me, or Did I Do This?

13:28 — The Three Kinds of Men Who Come

15:06 — What Happens at a Retreat?

15:18 — The Stone

17:27 — Understanding the Context

19:17 — What Can We Handle Right Now?

20:18 — Is the Abortion Pill Trauma Different?

22:13 — When the Bleeding Becomes Part of the Memory

23:02 — What Does Bottoming Out Look Like?

25:06 — When You Never Connected the Dots

26:34 — How Do You Suggest Healing Without Pushing?

27:39 — When Help Feels Like Judgment

28:50 — Why They Name Their Children

31:50 — The Bond a Name Can Create

32:19 — Rachel's Vineyard Around the World

33:00 — How Rachel's Vineyard Began

34:49 — Why Some People Travel Far From Home

35:21 — Is This Retreat for Me?

37:35 — The First Time They Tell the Story

38:20 — Heard, Loved, and Not Judged

What happens when empathy starts protecting the person who caused the harm?

Marcie and Scott confront two stories where sympathy for the adult threatens to overshadow the child at the center.

While following the Lindsay Clancy case, Marcie realized something unsettling: she knew Clancy’s name. She could not name her three children. That absence matters.

The conversation explores toxic empathy, legal responsibility, and the idea of the “second victim.” At what point does understanding someone’s suffering begin to obscure accountability?

Then there is Baby Gabriel. Born through surrogacy with a serious heart condition, Gabriel survived after his surrogate resisted the biological parents’ reported request to end the pregnancy. He has since been returned to their custody by court order, raising difficult questions about surrogacy, disability, parental rights, and what happens when the child adults planned for is not the child they receive.

In both stories, attention gravitates toward the adults, their pain, their intentions, their rights, while the children live with the consequences.

How far can empathy bend before it starts excusing the inexcusable?

Watch the full conversation on Dear Jane.

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0:19 — 25 Years Since 9/11, 1 Since Charlie Kirk

2:12 — The Lindsay Clancy Case

3:02 — Why Are Women Rallying Around Her?

3:33 — Toxic Empathy

4:01 — Justice Wears a Blindfold

6:12 — Who Has to Say This Is Wrong?

6:58 — The Law Was Violated. Then What?

7:58 — “This Sets Us Back as Women”

8:56 — “This Could Be Me”

9:40 — The Second Victim Narrative

10:24 — What Precedent Does This Set?

11:11 — The Copycat Case

12:06 — When Empathy Lands on the Wrong Person

12:40 — Baby Gabriel

13:44 — Better for This Child to Be Dead?

14:35 — Nobody Is Talking About the Baby

15:09 — What the Survival Numbers Show

16:23 — Post-Birth Abortion

17:17 — When the Designer Baby Doesn’t Match

18:03 — Why So Few People Hear About This

18:45 — How Far Does the Slippery Slope Go?

20:08 — Voting With Your Eyes Open

22:35 — When Pro-Life Friends Struggle With This

23:00 — You Might Be the Only Pushback

23:42 — Carpet Cleaning and Riding Mowers

What if the freedom abortion promises does not feel like freedom afterward?

Shaun Freeborn of Tradies for Babies joins Scott and Marcie to talk about what he calls one of the biggest lies young couples are told: that abortion will let them keep living the life they want.

For Shaun, that belief is personal. He and his wife had an abortion when they were 17. Years later, they still carry lasting regret and have turned that pain into a mission to help other men understand the role they can play when a woman is facing an abortion decision.

Shaun also shares how Tradies for Babies grew from tradesmen and blue-collar workers speaking up online into a grassroots movement with videos coming in from around the world. For many of them, it is the first time they have had a public place to talk about abortion, responsibility, and even their own grief.

The conversation also moves into abortion laws in Australia, the backlash men can face for speaking publicly, and why Shaun believes changing someone’s mind may require something more than the right argument. If abortion was supposed to help them move on with their lives, why is it the one decision they regret every day?