Want to suggest a topic or simply say Hello ? Send a message here !

Kink curious? This one's for you. 🖤

Welcome to Part 2 of Confidence & Guidance.

After exploring sexual confidence, communication and intimacy in Part 1, we're heading into the BDSM side of the workshop.

I've been involved in BDSM for more than nine years, and this episode is about helping people understand the reality of kink beyond the fantasy — particularly if you're curious but have absolutely no idea where to begin.

We explore BDSM terminology, roles and dynamics, Dominants vs Tops, submissives vs bottoms, consent and negotiation, traffic-light systems, safewords, risk awareness, aftercare, protocol, edging and orgasm control, non-sexual kink and more.

We also get into the part that isn't talked about enough: actually entering the kink community.

What is a munch? What happens at a play party? How do you approach people without being creepy? What are the red flags in potential play partners and events? What does good kink etiquette look like? And how can couples navigate playing with other people?

You don't need BDSM experience to listen to this episode. You don't even need to know whether BDSM is for you.

You just need to be curious.

Because BDSM isn't about buying a paddle and suddenly calling yourself a Dominant. 😂 It's about communication, consent, trust, understanding risk and learning what works for the individual people involved.

Support the show

Check out our socials!

Thank you so much for listening 💖

Want to suggest a topic or simply say Hello ? Send a message here !

This is a recording of the latest Confidence & Guidance workshop which i host every other month.

Welcome to Part 1 of Confidence & Guidance, taken from my live workshop exploring sex, intimacy, confidence, communication and all those questions people often feel too embarrassed to ask.

After nine years working in the sex industry, I've met people with every level of experience — from virgins and people struggling with sexual confidence to those simply wanting to understand themselves and their partners better.

This episode isn't a deep scientific lecture filled with complicated terminology. It's an open, honest and judgement-free conversation based on my professional and personal experiences, alongside practical sexual-health education.

We talk about performance anxiety, overthinking during sex, porn vs reality, understanding your desires, communication, consent, reading your partner's responses, pleasure and orgasm, sexual health, genital hygiene, safer sex, dirty talk, affection without expectation and plenty more.

Whether you're inexperienced, sexually confident already, trying to become a better lover or simply curious about how other people experience intimacy, there's something here for you.

There will probably also be a few inappropriate jokes along the way… because obviously. 😂

Part 2: We're entering the world of BDSM, kink, power dynamics, play parties and the kink community. Next week.

Support the show

Check out our socials!

Thank you so much for listening 💖

Want to suggest a topic or simply say Hello ? Send a message here !

This was not supposed to become a podcast episode.

While we recorded this, my submissive was hooked up to electrical stimulation, so occasionally you'll hear his concentration disappear.

My submissive had been outrageously bratty recently, and during a very spontaneous BDSM scene I decided that, seeing as the rest of him was being thoroughly occupied, I might as well give his brain something to do too.

So I started asking questions.

We ended up talking about how he discovered BDSM, what submission actually feels like from his side, how his understanding of our dynamic has changed, and what it's been like going from initially being a client to becoming my lifestyle submissive.

The result was far more interesting and considerably less coherent in places than either of us expected.

Welcome to Part 1.

Support the show

Check out our socials!

Thank you so much for listening 💖

Want to suggest a topic or simply say Hello ? Send a message here !

When you're new to BDSM, it's easy to get lost within internet searches of so many outfits to choose from, so many fabrics, so many confusing size guides and lots of choice in what to wear. But how would you store it ? How would you clean it ? Will it fit ? What's it feel like ? All these questions will be answered in this episode to help you pick the perfect outfit.

Support the show

Check out our socials!

Thank you so much for listening 💖

Want to suggest a topic or simply say Hello ? Send a message here !

Today's episode is all about electric play a form of BDSM that's often misunderstood and surrounded by myths. Some people imagine it's dangerous, others think it's just a gimmick, and many have never even heard of it. So today, we're going to separate fact from fiction. We'll explore why some people enjoy electric sensation, how consent and communication are central to the experience, and why education and risk awareness matter so much. Whether you're simply curious, part of the kink community, or just interested in understanding different forms of human intimacy, this episode is about learning without judgment.

Support the show

Check out our socials!

Thank you so much for listening 💖

Want to suggest a topic or simply say Hello ? Send a message here !

One of the things I enjoy most about asking for your questions is that sometimes a handful of completely unrelated questions end up circling around the same idea or we just go straight off the tracks into a whole different podcast.

When I looked through the ones I wanted to answer this week, they seemed to be about completely different things. I totally have not been ADHD putting this off because of how indepth these questions can get. One was about campaigning for the decriminalisation of sex work. One was about politics. One was about BDSM. One was about whether being part of a community shapes your opinions. One was about knowing when conviction becomes arrogance.

Lets dive in

Support the show

Check out our socials!

Thank you so much for listening 💖

Want to suggest a topic or simply say Hello ? Send a message here !

Welcome back everyone to Behind The Paddle Podcast

Today's episode is one I've wanted to make for a long time because it's surrounded by misunderstanding, judgement and, frankly, a lot of misinformation.

We're talking about feminisation.

Now, before anyone jumps to conclusions, this isn't an episode promoting or criticising it. It's an attempt to understand it. I have my own stories which I'm going to share with you. Some of them are absolutely heartwarming and others really made me reconsider offering feminisation sessions. For some people, feminisation is a kink. For others it's an exploration of gender expression. For some it's simply fantasy. For others it becomes part of discovering who they really are. Those aren't all the same thing.

One of the biggest mistakes people make is assuming every person interested in feminisation fits into one category. Believe me it certainly doesn't.

Human beings are far more complicated than that.

Today I want to explore the psychology behind it, where shame comes from, how masculinity fits into the picture, the influence of the internet, and why this topic says so much about how society treats gender. Now what I'm going to discuss isn't a blanket for everyone who dresses up no not at all. Every individual person has their own reasons. Hey, I might not even hit on why some men do it. We are learning every single day, especially seeing clients as often as I do I love to be educated on what makes people tick and what really leads them to enjoy what they enjoy.

My hope is that whether this applies to you personally or not, you'll leave with a deeper understanding of feminisation.

Support the show

Check out our socials!

Thank you so much for listening 💖

Want to suggest a topic or simply say Hello ? Send a message here !

The Life and Work of Cynthia Payne

Cynthia Diana Paine born 24 December 1932, she was known professionally as Cynthia Payne and nicknamed Madam Cyn, was an English madam, brothel keeper, party hostess, and media personality. She was widely considered to be Britain's best known madam. She made headlines throughout the 1970s and 1980s, when she was convicted of running a brothel at 32 Ambleside Avenue in Streatham, south London.

Support the show

Check out our socials!

Thank you so much for listening 💖