How do we get ready for Yom Kippur wihtout all the fear and anxiety?

In this heartfelt conversation, Rabbi Greenwald and Rabbi Yudkowsky explore self-improvement through the lens of Yom Kippur, relationships of unconditional love, and the ongoing journey of getting closer to Hashem.

Key Questions Explored in the Episode:

• How can we approach Yom Kippur with positivity instead of fear?
• What lessons about growth can we learn from our parents?
• How do we maintain momentum beyond the “high moments” of life?

Rabbi Greenwald and Rabbi Yudkowsky reflect on the process of self-improvement, highlighting how internal dialogue, family dynamics, and motivation all contribute to personal growth. The discussion offers a refreshing perspective on Yom Kippur, portraying it not as a day of fear but as a gift of renewal and self-clarity. Through stories, analogies, and practical insights, they share how to approach life’s challenges with faith, perspective, and resilience. Reminding us that growth is not about perfection but about steady, meaningful progress.

Time Stamps:

(00:00) Speak to yourself

(00:18) The Importance of Self-Understanding

(04:26) Yom Kippur

(06:17) Personal Experiences and Reflections

(06:46) The Concept of Fear and Forgiveness

(07:46) Context and Perspective

(10:03) The Human Experience and Growth

(23:22) Parental Influence and Relationship with God

(30:34) Reflecting on Personal Growth

(31:11) The Surgeon

(33:48) Facing Yom Kippur with Realistic Expectations

(36:10) The Marathon of Life

(40:47) Course Correction and Continuous Improvement

(45:42) Maintaining Growth Beyond the High Moments

(49:40) The Journey of Life and Faith

What does Yiras Shamayim really mean?

Rabbi Greenwald and Rabbi Yudkowsky challenge the common assumption that fear of Heaven means anxiety, dread, or living under constant pressure. They explore the difference between unhealthy fear and a kind of fear that deepens a person’s life, relationships, and inner world.

The discussion moves from childhood ideas of punishment and consequence into something much deeper.

They talk about how we can help children develop yirah, why bad metaphors about Hashem can be so damaging, how values are absorbed through modeling, and why skipping stages can create confusion or even religious trauma.

This is a conversation about moving from fear that constricts a person to one that opens a person up.

Timestamps

00:00 Fear That Protects Love

02:06 Bad Metaphors About Hashem

03:08 Parenting Respect Not Terror

10:33 Three Levels Of Yiras Shamayim

29:05 Awe Of Greatness In Practice

36:21 Expanding the Self

39:19 Modeling Values

41:24 Trauma and Fear

53:41 Truth and Love

What does real discipline look like in a Jewish home?

In this episode of Becoming Home, Rabbi Greenwald and Rabbi Yudkowsky explore a deeper framework for parenting — one that challenges the way we think about discipline, punishment, and love itself.

They unpack three aspects of love – how they work together and how in their absence disciplinary measures fail and create unintended damage.

They also distinguish between discipline, control, and helping a child realize their truest self.

Along the way, they touch on:

•⁠ ⁠When limits strengthen a child — and when they break them

•⁠ ⁠Why punishment often backfires in today’s world

•⁠ ⁠The difference between creating compliance and restoring free will

•⁠ ⁠What it means to discipline from clarity instead of reaction

•⁠ ⁠And how connection changes everything

This episode opens up a more nuanced, and sometimes uncomfortable, look at what it really means to guide a child — without losing them in the process.

Timestamps

00:00 What is discipline really for?

02:40 Three expressions of love (Ramchal)

06:15 Create strength vs. resistance

10:30 A hug of connection and boundaries

25:45 Punishment as a tool

30:30 Corporal punishment: why it rarely lands as intended

35:50 Discipline vs. control — restoring free will

41:10 When a child feels rejected

46:00 Clarity vs. reacting in the moment

54:10 Rethinking consequences

58:00 Influence of healthy discipline on a child