Instant Family: Comedy, Consent, and Adoption Propaganda

Episode Summary:

What happens when a comedy about foster care hides a deeper agenda? In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira and J Way dig into the film Instant Family, its tone, tropes, and troubling narratives. They reflect on how comedy disarms audiences, how media normalizes adoption propaganda, and why who tells the story matters. From trauma, reunification, and religious narratives to Hollywood’s obsession with control, nothing is off limits.

Content Note

This episode includes discussion of adoption, the foster care system, racism, abuse, sexual assault, and state violence. Please listen with care.

In this episode we cover:

(00:22) Introduction and content framing

(01:16) First impressions of Instant Family and the illusion of relatability

(05:30) What does it mean for a film to be disarming?

(08:16) Behind the scenes: The director’s role, Catholic influence, and who gets to tell the story

(13:30) Quick recap: The film's plot and its portrayal of the family policing system

(19:34) When adoptive parents fear reunification

(22:16) How poverty is framed as parental failure

(27:10) What kept people are taught to ignore

(33:30) The comedy-to-consent pipeline: Who owns a child’s story?

(47:12) Real life vs. “inspirational fiction” and the state’s role in violence

(52:56) The kids no one comes looking for: on isolation and invisibility

(55:42) What these films always leave out, and why it matters

Call To Action:
Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow us on social media and Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.com

• Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines
• BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social
• TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_
• Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack

Connect with J Way:

• TikTok: @itsyagirl_jway
• BlueSky: @itsjway.bsky.social

Listen to these episodes next:

• The Blind Side: Ownership, Propaganda, and the White Savior Playbook
• Surveillance, Saviors, and Screens: Media & Adoption with J Way
• Adoptee Storytelling & Film Advocacy

Work With Me:
Email adopteescrossinglines@gmail.com for brand partnerships and business inquiries.

Editing by J. Way (AV Editor)
Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email jwayedits@gmail.com

The Blind Side: Ownership, Propaganda, and the White Savior Playbook

Episode Summary:

In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira and co-host/editor J Way kick off a new film mini-series with one of the most infamous adoption movies of all time: The Blind Side. They revisit this Oscar winning film with fresh eyes, exposing its white savior narrative, racist tropes, and the insidious control adoption often masks as care. Together, they dissect the real life harm caused by this story, and why adoptees need to reclaim the mic.

In this episode, we cover:

(01:33) Why we had to start the series with The Blind Side
(03:26) Savior narratives, selective memory, and how adopters used this film as “family time”
(07:17) Hallmark vibes, propaganda beats, and the absurd plot construction
(10:08) IQ scores, protectiveness tests, and the racist assumptions they reinforce
(14:18) Control vs. care, and how Leigh Anne’s character weaponizes both
(20:20) Black bodies as tools: protector, athlete, project
(23:44) Christianity, purity culture, and domination masked as discipline
(30:51) Queer families, carceral systems, and why inclusion isn’t liberation
(36:24) “Do you have a mother?” and how the film dehumanizes Michael’s mom
(40:26) Ole Miss, Confederate nostalgia, and performative progress
(46:10) Final takeaways: who gets to tell the story—and why it matters

Call To Action:
Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow us on social media and Substack for more content and community:

• Website: adopteescrossinglines.com
• Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines
• BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social
• TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_
• Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack

Connect with J Way:

• TikTok: @itsyagirl_jway
• BlueSky: @itsjway.bsky.social

Listen to these episodes next:

• Surveillance, Saviors, and Screens: Media & Adoption with J Way
• Adoptee Storytelling & Film Advocacy

Work With Me:
Email adopteescrossinglines@gmail.com for brand partnerships and business inquiries.

Editing by J. Way (AV Editor)
Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email jwayedits@gmail.com.

Ashley Albert on Survival, Strategy, and Standing on Business

Episode Summary:

In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira is joined by Ashley Albert—organizer, survivor, and founder of Stolen Children’s Month. Ashley shares her journey from foster care and incarceration to becoming the first parent in Washington state to legally enforce and modify an open adoption agreement. Together, they speak truth to power about the family policing system, the Adoption and Safe Families Act (ASFA), and the necessity of abolition. This conversation is about legacy, resistance, and the spiritual practice of staying alive and dangerous in the face of erasure.

In this episode, we cover:

(00:22) Ashley’s story of survival and her legal breakthrough in Washington State.
(06:08) What it really takes to fight for your children—and what the system demands.
(09:50) Why Ashley created Stolen Children’s Month and what it means to bear witness.
(21:20) The truth about ASFA, adoption incentives, and systemic erasure.
(34:30) Spiritual resistance, healing justice, and caring for ourselves as abolitionists.
(45:17) Messages for survivors, caregivers, and anyone who's ever felt broken by the system.

Connect with Ashley Albert & Stolen Children’s Month:

• Instagram: @stolenchildrensmonth
• Website: stolenchildrensmonth.com

Listen to these episodes next:

• What We Carried from the Black Mothers March
• Mutual Aid as Resistance: Building Systems of Care

Work With Me:
Email adopteescrossinglines@gmail.com for brand partnerships and business inquiries.

Editing by J. Way (AV Editor)
Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email jwayedits@gmail.com.

What We Carried from the Black Mothers March

Episode Summary:

In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira sits down with her editor and friend J Way to reflect on their experience attending the Black Mothers March in Washington, D.C. From the powerful teach in and the emotional impact of firsthand stories to the joyful moments of community and connection, they unpack what it means to organize, to protest, and to be witnessed. Together, they talk about the dystopian reality we’re living in, the role of media in shaping narratives around adoption and family policing, and how they’re carrying the work forward.

In this episode, we cover:

(00:22) The power of the Black Mothers March and what made the teach-in so impactful.
06:54) Surveillance, storytelling, and the intersections of state control and care.
(11:26) Joy, organizing, and finding community as resistance.
(20:39) Reproductive justice, dystopia, and the erasure of Black mothers.
(33:40) What we’re carrying forward—and what comes next.

Call To Action:
Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow us on social media and Substack for more content and community:

• Website: adopteescrossinglines.com
• Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines
• BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social
• TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_
• Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack

Connect with J Way:

• TikTok: @itsyagirl_jway
• BlueSky: @itsjway.bsky.social

Listen to these episodes next:

• Mutual Aid as Resistance: Building Systems of Care
• Ashley Albert on Survival, Strategy & Standing on Business

Work With Me:
Email adopteescrossinglines@gmail.com for brand partnerships and business inquiries.

Editing by J. Way (AV Editor)
Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email jwayedits@gmail.com.

Adopted Twice: Kinship, Control, and the Cost of Silence

Episode Summary:

In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira sits down with Kat Shahinian-Buffa to explore the layers of secrecy, grief, and reclamation embedded in kinship adoption. From being adopted the day she was born to uncovering that her sister is also her cousin through a DNA test, Kat walks us through her journey of survival, family deception, and international discovery. Together, they dig into the ways adoption alters identity, why even kinship adoption can be deeply harmful, and what it means to raise yourself.

In this episode, we cover:

• (00:20) Kat’s adoption story, growing up with five siblings, and being raised by her biological uncle’s wife.
• (06:54) Realizing the burden of being “chosen,” perfectionism, and being othered in her adoptive family.
• (17:37) How DNA tests blew open family secrets—including discovering her sister is also her cousin.
• (27:15) Why even kinship adoption isn’t inherently safer or healthier—and how it distorts medical history and relationships.
• (42:10) The long road to healing, mental health support, and raising yourself.

Call To Action:
Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow us on social media and Substack for more content and community:

• Website: adopteescrossinglines.com
• Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines
• BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social
• TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_
• Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack

Connect with Kat Shahinian-Buffa:

• Instagram: @kadasarus
• BlueSky: @kadasaurus.bsky.social

Listen to these episodes next:

• Raised by Auntie, Called Mom: The Complicated Truth of Kinship Adoption

Work With Me:
Email adopteescrossinglines@gmail.com for brand partnerships and business inquiries.

Editing by J. Way (AV Editor)
Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email jwayedits@gmail.com.

Raised by Auntie, Called Mom: The Complicated Truth of Kinship Adoption

Episode Summary:

In this episode, attorney and pro-Black adoptee Aretha Frazier shares her story of being adopted by her aunt in a kinship placement that was far from simple. From navigating family loyalty and control to confronting abuse and the myth of gratitude, Aretha opens up about what it really meant to grow up in a household where blood ties didn’t guarantee safety or care. She and Zaira dive deep into the complexities of kinship adoption, family dynamics, and what it means to center adoptees—especially Black adoptees—in every conversation. This is a raw, necessary look at the assumptions we carry about family, care, and who gets to be believed.

Call To Action:

Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:

• Website: adopteescrossinglines.com
• Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines
• BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social
• TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_
• Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack

Listen to these episodes next:

• Adopted Twice: Kinship, Control and the Cost of Silence

Work With Me:

Email adopteescrossinglines@gmail.com for brand partnerships and business inquiries.

Editing by J. Way (AV Editor)

Special thanks to J. Way for editing the podcast. To collaborate with her, email her at jwayedits@gmail.com.

Surveillance, Saviors, and Screens: Media & Adoption with J Way

Episode Summary:

In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira is joined by her editor, cinephile, and dear friend J Way. Together, they dive into how adoption narratives are portrayed in film and television, from tropes like the “grateful orphan” to more realistic depictions of systemic harm. J Way shares their experience as a transracial adoptee, the cultural erasure they endured, and the healing power of chosen family, storytelling, and visual media. This powerful conversation unpacks the surveillance, silence, and saviorism that often surround adoption—and what it means to reclaim your story through art and truth.

In this episode, we cover:

(00:28) J Way’s story: growing up adopted with two sisters in a white household
(03:11) Surveillance, culture loss, and being banned from speaking Spanish
(05:33) How film became a safe space and helped process adoption trauma
(08:49) Media critiques: from Queen’s Gambit tropes to Atlanta’s searing truths
(14:52) Social media, saviorism, and adoption propaganda
(31:38) Love beyond biology: Zaira’s documentary vision on family policing
(37:33) The harm and manipulation of “open” adoptions
(47:07) “It’s not about blood”: media rhetoric, savior narratives, and erasure

Call To Action:

Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines on your favorite podcast platform. Follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for deeper content and community.

• Website: adopteescrossinglines.com
• Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines
• TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_
• BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social
• Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack

Connect with J Way:

• TikTok: @itsyagirl_jway
• BlueSky: @itsjway.bsky.social

Listen to these episodes next:

• The Blind Side: Ownership, Propaganda, and the White Savior Playbook
• Adoptee Storytelling & Film Advocacy

Work With Me:

Email adopteescrossinglines@gmail.com for brand partnerships, sponsorships, or collaboration inquiries.

Editing by J Way

Special thanks to J Way for editing this episode. To collaborate with her, email jwayedits@gmail.com.

Mutual Aid as Resistance: Building Systems of Care

Episode Summary:

In this solo episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira dives deep into the power and necessity of mutual aid. Drawing from personal reflection, historical examples like the Black Panther Party and the Young Lords, and global efforts from Sudan to Florida, this episode highlights how mutual aid has always been about survival. Zaira explores how mutual aid rejects systems of exploitation and centers community care as a form of resistance—especially for marginalized communities continuously neglected by the state.

In this episode, we cover:

(00:20) What mutual aid is, how it differs from charity, and why it’s essential for survival.
(05:13) Historical examples of mutual aid in action—from the Black Panther Party to the Young Lords.
(12:35) How mutual aid shows up today across the globe and in local communities.
(17:36) The call to practice mutual aid in our daily lives and how storytelling is a form of digital resistance.

Call To Action:

Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community:

• Website: adopteescrossinglines.com
• Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines
• BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social
• TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_
• Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack

Listen to these episodes next:

• Adoptees & Community
• What We Carried from the Black Mothers March
• Ashley Albert on Survival Strategy & Standing on Business

Work With Me:

Email adopteescrossinglines@gmail.com for brand partnerships and business inquiries.

Editing by J. Way (AV Editor)
Special thanks to J. Way for editing the podcast. To collaborate with her, email her at jwayedits@gmail.com.