Eddie: Cancel your dinky-little roomette on the train. I’m booking us two of the big bedroom suites.

Birdie: I’ll cancel it after you’ve booked the other sleeper rooms. And reimburse you.

Eddie: Don’t worry about it. Just cancel your tickets. I got this. Round trip. I’m on the Amtrak website right now.

Birdie: You don’t have to leave NYC when I do! You’ll hardly be able to spend any time with your Instagram girlfriend who you've never met!

Eddie: It’s fine. She’ll be fine with it. Cancel your tickets.

Birdie: You aren’t going to stop texting me until I’ve canceled them, are you?

Eddie: Damn right I’m not. Just do it. You can thank me later....

Eddie: Um. Did you cancel your tickets?

Birdie: Yes, Edward. I canceled them.

Eddie: Okay, because it turns out they only had one family bedroom from LA to Chicago. But the good news is I booked it for us. It’s the biggest room they had. The bad news is I booked it for us. And it’s the only sleeper room they have left now.

Eddie: In related news, there was also only one room left from Chicago to New York.

Eddie: Hands up if you’re excited! *man raising hand emoji*

Birdie: I am so mad at you right now....

Birdie: I’ve compiled a list of ground rules re: shared train bedroom. Check your email; please read carefully; and refer to it again on the ninth of February. Thank you.

Eddie: *nerd face emoji* Received. I have some notes.

This audiobook has dual narration, with portions that are duet-style.