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    Eric Baxter doesn't ask for much. All he wants is to get his leg-over occasionally with his wife, Helen, and to lose enough weight to be able to see his genitals again without having to lean completely forward. So when Carol (the randy work colleague and fellow food lover who almost seduced him the night before) turns up at his home and introduces herself to his wife, he begins to wonder whether life is playing a cruel practical joke on him. As Carol seems determined to make his life a misery for turning her down, and he's about to discover something's going horribly wrong in the trouser department too, he could very well be right.

    If that weren't enough to have him reaching for the comfort food, he also has to contend with an oversexed son who's using the soapy bathroom sponge for something other than cleaning purposes. Plus a daughter who having just discovered boys has started dating a six-foot ginger gorilla with huge bushy sideburns. Not forgetting his neighbor's cat, a vengeful pigeon, a gang of feral children, and a vigilante sausage dog.

    ©2016 Steven Morris (P)2017 Steven Morris

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