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Awakening

A LitRPG Story (Outworld, Book 1)

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Awakening

Von: Mrdojo
Gesprochen von: Joshua Story
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What do you desire in exchange for your soul? Everlasting youth? A million dollars? Women? Power?

Bored high-schooler Adam Staples wants for nothing. Such an offer could only be a prank, right? Who would have thought that the prankster is a demon in disguise?

After selling his soul and turning into a half-demon, Adam finds himself orphaned and dragged into a realm outside of the world he knew. Training under his benefactor and enrolling in a school made for those who were gifted with powers, Adam ventures around the Outworld to hunt down the demon that turned his life inside out...and perhaps to squash a bit of the guilt he carries for what he had done to his family.

©2020 Mrdojo (P)2020 Podium Audio Epic Fantasy Fantasy
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Needs rewrite and editing, you can tell the writer is new to writing and forgets the golden rule when writing something, don't over use same names and words when you don't have to.
Adam this and Adam that gets old fast, you don't need to keep repeating the MC's name in every sentence when he's the only one you are writing about, if you have several people talking in a group then you use their names to let us know who is talking.
And the first few chapters could be rewritten to make the whole story better and easier to hook readers.
And the unnecessary dialogue between random characters needs to be deleted, it's just very bad.
There is no real buildup to any "level" of character development, the MC goes from start to seven year later to joining a academy to knowing all there is to know about just about everything from zero to hero with alot of bad unnecessary dialogue.

And now to the narrator, seriously he could be replaced by an AI voice you can tell he doesn't know how to do emotions and tries anyway, sometimes you forget you are supposed to pay attention to the book, it gets better in later chapters but why use someone's hard work the learn how to narrate??
Some of the voices the narrator tries to do but fails and makes you just want to stop the playback are really bad.

if you can look past the above it's a good story that you might finish, I've wasted time on worse and this has real potential to turn into something great if rewritten.

This isn't a book you will want to read ever again, that said it's not super bad.

Needs rewrite and editing but has great potential

Ein Fehler ist aufgetreten. Bitte versuche es in ein paar Minuten noch einmal.
Die Geschichte ist ansprechend und mitfühlend gestaltet. Der MC hat eine starke Persönlichkeit und ist kaltblütig. Das einzige was mich stört sind die wechselnden Perspektiven. Ein paar mal kann man das machen aber irgendwann wird es zu viel. Außerdem wäre es noch interessant wenn man mehr auf das rpg Element eingeht.

Sehr gut

Ein Fehler ist aufgetreten. Bitte versuche es in ein paar Minuten noch einmal.
I like to get my money's worth aka listen to the entire book once I buy it. This book has managed that with 5 hours and 30 something minutes left I have to stop. This is mostly my own opinion so here goes.
The MC is a fucking strange creep and I don't like it.
Please don't try to shove your opinion on to your reader/listener. Describing someone with the word "cool" doesn't make them cool.
I am also not sure if the MC was intended to be a creep if so well done but well what I have listened to suggests that wasn't the intention. From experience here spacing out in conversations doesn't make you cool or mysterious, it makes you an asshole or the bud of many jokes.
Lastly a kid going from puberty into puberty wouldn't show litteral 0 interest in their preferred sex, like this kid went from being a young adult to being a half baked machine incapable of acting like a human being.

Wow this ended up being harsher than intended but it comes from the heart.

I tried

Ein Fehler ist aufgetreten. Bitte versuche es in ein paar Minuten noch einmal.
Interesting story but the spraker needs to improve. Just one voice for all female chatakters makes it difficult to follow sometimes.

Besides that after chapter 40 all chatakters get annoyingly oblivious. All 5 min some charakter is making a surprise sound like „Huh?“ or „Oh?“ or „Ah?“. Its so annoying. Does no one check such things?

All in all I cant recommend it. Its a very interesting story but the bad writing and not good enough speaker are too much. There are enough good other LitRPGs out there without this weaknesses.

Good but not enough

Ein Fehler ist aufgetreten. Bitte versuche es in ein paar Minuten noch einmal.
The story is poorly written and badly read, the perspective jumps for no other reason than to make the main char look cool, he is boringly overpowered and not the slightest bit relatable, the speaker has the bandwidth of a fishing line, every character gets the same laughter and it’s surprising that he’s using a different voice for female characters… I tried listening through it but I just can’t bring myself to listen to the last 5 hours… all in all a all a shallow audiobook that can’t even be suggested to kill some time…

One of the worst books I’ve listened to…

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