"Must Be Nice!" 4 Ways to Stop Keeping Score in Marriage
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"Must Be Nice!" 4 Ways to Stop Keeping Score in Marriage
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In this episode, Dr. Josh unpacks how tired spouses start keeping score, and four practical ways to get back on the same team.
Here are some key takeaways:
- “Must be nice” is where scorekeeping starts.
- When we don’t feel seen, we cope: sarcasm, martyrdom, attacking, or going silent.
- Ask yourself: do I really believe this is their character? Usually, it isn’t.
- Swap “you” for “we, us, our," and an "us-against-the-world" attitude.
- Walk the tightrope of responsibility. Own your part without falling into blame or shame.
- Name your opponents: kids, work, travel, in-laws, money, addiction. Bring them into the light.
- Every day, say one moment you felt seen, heard, loved, or appreciated.
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