Who I Once Was
A Body Memoir
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Who I Once Was
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Amy Scheiner
For readers of Melissa Febos, Roxane Gay, and T Kira Madden
When Amy Scheiner entered an eating disorder treatment center in Oregon after failing in earlier programs, she was angry and exhausted. At 24, she had spent years struggling with dieting, disordered eating, and the relentless pressure to make a body fit impossible expectations.
Who I Once Was is Scheiner’s poignant story of dieting, self-destruction, and recovery. Moving between her time at the treatment center and her youth, Scheiner chronicles her journey to find wholeness. She reflects on being raised on 90s diet culture as a child, her non-FDA approved bariatric surgery at 17, and how the surgery worsened her disordered eating as she was terrified of regaining the weight she lost and of becoming the person she was before.
While at the treatment center, she came to understand the connections between her upbringing, generational trauma, and complex family dynamics. Scheiner explores the ramifications of growing up with an undiagnosed mental illness and trauma in an environment where her mind was ignored and her body was vilified.
Deeply personal and honest, Who I Once Was reveals that the “problem,” whether it be mental illness, addiction, or any other dysfunction, is a symptom of much larger societal issues.
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