Awakening
A LitRPG Story (Outworld, Book 1)
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Awakening
Verteld door:
Joshua Story
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Verteld door:
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Joshua Story
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Van:
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Mrdojo
What do you desire in exchange for your soul? Everlasting youth? A million dollars? Women? Power?
Bored high-schooler Adam Staples wants for nothing. Such an offer could only be a prank, right? Who would have thought that the prankster is a demon in disguise?
After selling his soul and turning into a half-demon, Adam finds himself orphaned and dragged into a realm outside of the world he knew. Training under his benefactor and enrolling in a school made for those who were gifted with powers, Adam ventures around the Outworld to hunt down the demon that turned his life inside out...and perhaps to squash a bit of the guilt he carries for what he had done to his family.
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Continue the series
Adam this and Adam that gets old fast, you don't need to keep repeating the MC's name in every sentence when he's the only one you are writing about, if you have several people talking in a group then you use their names to let us know who is talking.
And the first few chapters could be rewritten to make the whole story better and easier to hook readers.
And the unnecessary dialogue between random characters needs to be deleted, it's just very bad.
There is no real buildup to any "level" of character development, the MC goes from start to seven year later to joining a academy to knowing all there is to know about just about everything from zero to hero with alot of bad unnecessary dialogue.
And now to the narrator, seriously he could be replaced by an AI voice you can tell he doesn't know how to do emotions and tries anyway, sometimes you forget you are supposed to pay attention to the book, it gets better in later chapters but why use someone's hard work the learn how to narrate??
Some of the voices the narrator tries to do but fails and makes you just want to stop the playback are really bad.
if you can look past the above it's a good story that you might finish, I've wasted time on worse and this has real potential to turn into something great if rewritten.
This isn't a book you will want to read ever again, that said it's not super bad.
Needs rewrite and editing but has great potential
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Sehr gut
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The MC is a fucking strange creep and I don't like it.
Please don't try to shove your opinion on to your reader/listener. Describing someone with the word "cool" doesn't make them cool.
I am also not sure if the MC was intended to be a creep if so well done but well what I have listened to suggests that wasn't the intention. From experience here spacing out in conversations doesn't make you cool or mysterious, it makes you an asshole or the bud of many jokes.
Lastly a kid going from puberty into puberty wouldn't show litteral 0 interest in their preferred sex, like this kid went from being a young adult to being a half baked machine incapable of acting like a human being.
Wow this ended up being harsher than intended but it comes from the heart.
I tried
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Besides that after chapter 40 all chatakters get annoyingly oblivious. All 5 min some charakter is making a surprise sound like „Huh?“ or „Oh?“ or „Ah?“. Its so annoying. Does no one check such things?
All in all I cant recommend it. Its a very interesting story but the bad writing and not good enough speaker are too much. There are enough good other LitRPGs out there without this weaknesses.
Good but not enough
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One of the worst books I’ve listened to…
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